Secondary Colors

ogremom:

the scene is tumblr hq. at the head of a long oak table, david karp sits deep in thought. a terrified intern carrying an armful of documents opens the door, breaking the silence.

“mr karp, i-i was told to give these to you….” the intern is scared shitless. he is wearing at least two cardigans and a pair of headphones that are not plugged into anything, but still shivers when karp looks up at him in wordless acknowledgement of his presence. 

“they’re…they’re all letters of complaint from tumblr users. they’re asking you to fix their messaging system. they want ghost notes to stop. last time you tried to shut them up with fanmail, but i think they’re still angry about missin-“

“WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THAT EXTENSION IN THIS OFFICE.” david karp screams at the intern and leaps from his chair so forcefully that his yukata falls to the ground in shreds. his eyes look like they were gifted to him by michele bachmann and a wolf. karp grabs one of the papers and gets to work, sketching out a series of strange symbols on the blank back side.

the intern is frozen in fear. karp earnestly brushes fragments of eraser off of the page and holds it up for the world to see, like a child begging their mother to tape a crayon doodle to the fridge. when he realizes that his crazy boss intends to do nothing but replace the post icons, the intern sheds a single, solemn tear.

(via gabberstag)

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